


Can You Tell the Time?

by Vyxyn



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drunk Derek, M/M, Sterek is real, Stiles is a supportive husband, YouTube Video, based on one of my favourite YouTube videos, emotional drunk, sober Stiles, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6083925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vyxyn/pseuds/Vyxyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek comes home from an evening out with some pack members, and Stiles confronts him, and ends up seeing a side of Derek he'd never thought he'd see.</p>
<p>Or</p>
<p>What happens when someone spikes a werewolf's drink with wolfsbane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You Tell the Time?

It’s 2 am, and Stiles has passed out on the couch, after a night of binge watching the Christopher Nolan Batman movies. Somewhere in the middle of The Dark Knight Rises, Stiles had fallen asleep, feet propped up against the end of the couch, arm slightly hanging over the edge, and a trail of drool dripping down his cheek, onto the couch. 

Stiles wakes up with a snort, flailing slightly, almost landing his sleepy butt on the floor. He gets up gingerly from the couch, and poses into a big stretch, feeling the muscles in his body elongate after sleeping uncomfortably on the couch. Scratching his happy trail, he plods into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, before going to bed.

He’s just put the glass on the side of the sink, when he hears noise at the front door. Slinking to the hat stand where he keeps his trusty baseball bat, Stiles assumes the position. Slowly a key is inserted into the lock, and after some fumbling, the door swings open, exposing a very intoxicated Derek.

Derek has trouble pulling the key out of the lock, but with a grunt he finally gets it, swaying a little as he begins to shut the door.

“Derek!”

Derek shuts the door, feet scuffing against the tiles, sending squeaks out to Stiles ears.

“I can’t believe how drunk you are!”

Derek blinks. “I am not, drunk.”

Stiles looks at Derek incredulously. “Yes you are!”

Derek’s eyebrows tango on his forehead. He raises his finger, pointing at Stiles accusingly. “I am not, fucking, drunk.”

Stiles drops the bat on the floor. Is his husband kidding? Stiles folds his arms across his chest, raising a defiant eyebrow, Stiles thinks he’ll get Derek. “Can you tell the time?”

Derek stares blankly at Stiles. “Yes.” Turning towards the clock that his hanging in the kitchen, Derek’s accusatory finger reappears. “[I am not, fucking, drunk.](https://youtu.be/KnMboFHudlc)”

Derek turns back to Stiles. His eyes are unfocused, but he’s swaying while waiting for Stiles to respond. Derek did what Stiles asked him to, and he’s waiting for Stiles to commend him and send him to bed.

Except that Stiles bursts out laughing. Tipping his head back, he releases the frustration of Derek being home so late, and him being completely hammered. After a couple of minutes, he opens his eyes to see Derek looking at him like a puppy, with a tilt of his head, confused, which sends Stiles into another round of hysterics. Derek frowns. “Ish not funny Stiles.” Stiles is still laughing. “Stiles, why’re you laughing? Ish not funny.”

Stiles takes a step forward, still laughing, but he pulls a pouting Derek into his arms. “It kinda is Der. I’ve never seen you drunk before.”

Derek pushes Stiles back. “I said I’m not drunk! I said it! I’m not fucking drunk Stiles, and that’s it.” Crossing his arms angrily in front of him, Derek pouts again, and shoot Stiles a cranky look.

Stiles puts his hands up in defeat. “OK! Ok! You aren’t fucking drunk! But we’ll discuss this in the morning Drunkwolf, when you become Hungoverwolf, and I will not be cleaning vomit out of your beard, Drunky.”

Derek’s bottom lip flops forward, and begins to wobble. He sniffs. “You are so mean to me Stiles. I do nothing but love you, and support you, and love you, and you are picking on me!”

Derek crumbles onto the floor, tears beginning to fall, so he covers his face with his large hands, hoping to hide himself from Stiles. Stiles steps forward, completely thrown by his drunk husband. He honestly thought Derek would be an angry drunk, and here he has his Squishy Wolf Man in tears, because Stiles ish mean. 

Stiles sits down cross-legged in front of Derek on the floor. He reaches out to pull Derek’s hands away from his face, but werewolf strength. “Oh baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I wasn’t trying to be mean to you.”

Derek peeks out from between his fingers. Stiles reaches out and starts rubbing his hand up and down Derek’s thigh. “I shouldn’t make fun of you Der, it was mean. I just wasn’t expecting you to be home so late. You’re taking my dad fishing in the morning, remember?”

Derek gasps. “Oh no! Oh no! Did I miss it? Have I missed it babe? Ohmygod your dad’ll HATE ME!!” Derek begins to wail, and Stiles is trying very hard to not freak out over his almost 40-year-old husband, who is currently crying like a 4-year-old, whose parents have just confiscated his favourite binky.

Stiles musters as much strength as he can to pull his sobbing husband onto his lap, wrapping his arms around Derek and squeezing him. Derek nuzzles into Stiles’ neck, scenting him, then wraps his own arms around Stiles in return. Stiles reaches up to stroke Derek’s hair. “Baby it’s ok, you didn’t miss it I promise. And my dad could never hate you. Never ever.”

Derek leans back, looking into Stiles eyes for confirmation. “Never ever?”

“Never ever. You are his favourite Derek, and he loves you like his very own son.”

Derek hiccups. “He does?”

“Yes Der, he does. Now we need to get you a glass of water or twelve, and I’m going to tuck you into bed, and you are going to sleep, ok?”

“But your dad doesn’t hate me?”

“No baby he doesn’t.”

Derek’s lip begins to tremble again, eyes refilling with tears, and he manages to squeak out, “But do you hate me?”

Stiles feels a rush of affection towards Derek, and he smiles his brightest smile. “You are my life Derek Hale, and you’ve had my heart since the moment I saw you. I could never, EVER hate you. Never ever.”

Stiles stands with a groan, and holds his hand out Derek, who takes it carefully. With a grunt, Derek is shakily pulled up from the floor, and drawn back into Stiles’ arms. “I love you Der.”

“Love you too Schtiles.”

Stiles giggle snorts. “Schtiles. That’s so cute!” Dragging Derek into the kitchen, Stiles leans him up against the the bench, while he gets out a glass to fill with water. Once full, he hands it to Derek, making sure that both of Derek’s hands are wrapped around the glass. “Drink up baby. It’ll make you feel good.”

Derek does what he’s asked, and drains the glass in a couple of big gulps. Handing the glass back to Stiles, with a “more pleash”, he begins to hum a tune that sounds like a mash up of ‘Wannabe’, ‘Nothing Else Matters’ and ‘ET’. Filling up the glass again, Stiles hands it back to Derek, who guzzles that glass down too. Derek puts the empty glass on the bench, and grabs Stiles pulling him in so he can rub his stubble across Stiles’ chin. “You always look after me so well, you must love me lots.”

“I do love you lots. Now I’m going to tuck you into bed ok?”

Derek releases Stiles from his wolfie grip, and a yawn rips through him. “Ok. Bed now.”

Stiles takes Derek’s hand, and pulls him through the house, turning off the lights as he goes. He sits Derek on the end of the bed, and begins to remove his clothes, starting with his boots, then his socks. His leather jacket is next, followed by the burgundy Henley that clutches to Derek’s body like a lover. Standing Derek up, Stiles undoes Derek’s sinful black jeans, that are practically painted on, and once they are past Derek’s thighs, Stiles sits him back down, and removes the jeans completely.

Stiles maneuvers Derek into bed, lifting the bed covers over Derek’s shoulder, and tucking him in against the chill of the night. He leans in to kiss Derek’s forehead, and when he pulls back, Derek’s face is already slack with sleep. Shaking his head, Stiles rids himself of his own clothes and hops into bed, not before he grabs Derek a bucket from under the sink in the laundry and placing it beside the bed.

*****

Several hours later, Stiles wakes up alone. As he slowly comes to, he can hear the shower running, as well as groaning from their ensuite. Stiles stumbles out of bed, and trudges to the bathroom. Arriving in the bathroom, he sees Hungoverwolf sitting in the corner of the shower, letting the warm stream of water cascade over him.

“Don’t say it.”

Stiles chuckles. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Yeah you were. I know you, and you are going to make fun of me.”

“You were sooooo fucking drunk babe! So drunk!”

Derek groans louder. “I know, and now I’m hungover. I went to ring your dad about our fishing day, and he'd already rung and left a message. He got called into work.”   
  
Stiles snorts. “Well didn’t you just dodge a bullet.”

Derek turns towards the sound of Stiles’ voice. “Yeah I did. Why do I feel like I’ve been sobbing? I feel emotionally drained as well as hung over.”

“That’s because you were sobbing Der. It was like you were transformed into a kid for the night. You had the bottom lip going and everything. But you know what the best part was?”

Derek looks suspicious. “What?”

“The best part was that even when completely shitfaced, you are still a smartass. I told you to tell the time, and you did.”

Now Derek looks confused. “Huh? I know how to read a clock Stiles.”

“Actually, last night it was Schtiles, and when you told me you weren’t drunk, and I asked you to tell the time, you did. You told the clock in the kitchen you weren’t drunk. Pretty sure it didn’t believe you either.”

“Oh my god. Really? Schtiles? I’m never going to live this down am I?”

“Never. Never ever.”

Derek groans, closing his eyes and curling back up under the water. Stiles walks off to the kitchen to put on the gallons of coffee that his hungover husband sorely needs.

**Author's Note:**

> My favourite video on YouTube at the moment is what this story is based on. I've linked it in the body of the fic. If you can't find it, search for "I am not fucking drunk". 
> 
> I made Derek the drunk one, as typically the wolfies aren't getting drunk, and besides Derek is adorbs, and drunk Derek is even MORE adorbs, and Stiles is a good husband. 
> 
> Sterek forever!
> 
> Completely unbetaed because reasons.


End file.
